Have you ever wanted something so badly that you thought your heart would break if you didn’t get it? My 5 yr old daughter did.
1996. We were living in Winnipeg Manitoba. My husband and I had recently separated. I was trying to balance a broken marriage, two little girls, a dayhome, and more stress than I had ever experienced.
I was shopping at Superstore with my girls. Brittany was 5, Adrianna was 6 months. While I was grabbing diapers, Brittany saw the pink shoes. Canvas, Mary Jane style runners. Adorable. Only $12, but it was $12 more than I had to spend.
I was trying to be the good christian mommy by encouraging my daughters to pray. While it broke my heart a little to say I’m sorry, we can’t buy those today, I added “But you can ask Jesus for them”. Yikes! Did I just promise her that Jesus would give her the shoes?? What if I just set God up to fail and my daughter’s faith to crumble? “Really?” God challenged. “I can make the universe but I can’t come up with a pair of shoes? And by the way, Brittany’s faith is way stronger than yours right now, so maybe you should just stand back and watch me go!”
Flashback to December 1994. Brittany was two months shy of 4 years old. One last check in during bath time to make sure we had her Christmas list covered. Along with a Barney stuffie and a few other things, she added “and I want a baby sister.”
“Um, sweetie, we’ve talked about this. You know you grew in Richelle’s tummy before you were born and we adopted you and that’s how we became a family. You know Mommy’s tummy doesn’t work to make babies.”
“What about Daddy’s tummy?”
“Daddy’s tummy doesn’t work to make babies either.” The look on her face said it all. We were complete and utter losers. “In our family when we want a baby we ask Jesus. He gives us our family. That’s how we got you.” She didn’t know we had reactivated our adoption file the previous year and had already had two failed potential matches.
She gave me a look I had become all too familiar with — the I’ll Do This Myself look. She hopped out of the tub, wrapped up in her hooded bath towel, said “I’ll ask him”, and went to her room to kneel by her bed and pray.
Oh Lord, what have I just done?
She came back exactly one minute later with a smug grin on her face.
“He said yes. I can have one.”
“Honey, it’s only a couple more weeks until Christmas. You know there won’t be a baby sister under the tree when you come downstairs on Christmas morning, right?”
“I know that! It takes lots longer to grow a baby!” Accompanied by the first of countless eye-rolls.
My conversation with Steve later that evening was an interesting one! And nine months later, nearly to the day, we welcomed our new daughter Adrianna and her birth mom Alison into our family.
Flash forward to 1996, a couple weeks later. A large box was unexpectedly delivered to my door. I opened it up and it was filled with clothes for both our girls. Enough to last them for the fall and winter season to come. And sitting right on top? The pink shoes.
Explain to me again that God doesn’t care about little things.
Tell me how it is just a coincidence that the exact shoes my daughter asked for in a Canadian store were purchased in the US, and sent to her from an aunt who had no idea Brittany had asked for them. Had no clue what her shoe size was. They fit perfectly, by the way. Brittany wore those shoes until they were literally falling off her feet. She cried when we had to buy new shoes to replace them.
What’s your pink shoes?
I’ve had a few. And I prayed with faith believing that God cares about me, and He faithfully and completely provided everything I needed. You can do that too. Make this the year of asking for your pink shoes.
Then stand back and watch God go!